So...recently I have been having this intense feeling that I need to "get healthy", or I needed to get better at taking care of myself. Now... I don't know where the hell that feeling came from, or why it was bothering me, but it had been sitting in my spirit for a while.
I couldn't shake it.
And for the most part I would ignore it, because honestly speaking...I don't eat horribly, and I exercise a little more than the average person. I ain't hitting the gym 3-4x a week, but...comma, I will take me a nice run around the neighborhood, or do my new obsession hip -hop step routines, with the little step thing...Yall I am a beginner but it so much fun...I'll share a post one day.
Anywhoo...I just didn't understand why the hell I kept feeling like I needed to get better at being healthy & creating routines. That's when everything hit me.
The other day, in-between clients I was saying aloud what has been running in my brain because I was trying to figure out why... and I literally said,
"Okay, so I need to get rid of the snacks in the house & do a 30 day detoxification." I continued, "I'll increase my exercise & be more consistent, I will not drink alcohol for the next 30 days, I will stop taking my birth control (that's a totally different post, but I had a change in birth control and it legit f'd me up...), I will create me some routines." And then the light bulb turned on.
I don't have routines! I am not disciplined! Like... I have no discipline in my life...like at all. Even when I tried to set them in the past, I would slip up one day, or I will rationalize a reason to step out of the routine & I will abandon it & never start back. Discipline.
God is trying to lead me to discipline.
I hate that word, when I think of discipline, all I hear is that you about to tell me some shit I can't have or can't do. And I don't like to be told what I can or cannot have or what I cannot do. Like who the hell are you?!
So, that has been my relationship with discipline and I hate to admit that.
But I have to be honest with myself.
And I know you trying to figure out what does any of this have to do with leveling up.
Glad you asked...heres the message.
What does leveling up requires? It requires you to be prepared for that level, it requires you to have the capacity to maintain that level, & have the motivation and what....DISCIPLINE to stay the course despite not seeing instant results, you must have the discipline to do the work.
That requires routines and processes. It all goes together.
I have been personally working towards an ultimate goal. As an entrepreneur & creative I want to take my brand far, I want to change lives, I want to be a voice in my community of healing & wholeness. In my Homegirl way. But, if I am not at my 100% potential... how am I going to be able to handle the thing that I am asking God for.
I have to get disciplined with what I have now, before he will even think to bless me with the things I desire to have. That was my aha moment. I am at the brink of my breakthrough and I am over here playing...stalling...procrastinating...and not betting on myself. It's like right now God is telling me that...it's waiting for you. But you aren't ready for it. I need you to be ready for it. I need you to already have a routine in place for yourself, because where you are going...REQUIRES routine & it REQUIRES discipline.
There is no way around it sis.
So guess what....
I have to figure this out like right now.
Because if not...
I'm going to fumble the bag
And who the hell wants to do that.
This your cue to get it together.
See ya at the top.